Facing It

So after I finished reeling from the Aunt D incident, I decided I had to face the issue and really start searching and researching. I don't have the luxury of avoiding and ignoring like many of my Christian brothers and sisters. It is very, very easy to vomit out the standard, cold talking points against homosexuality when it's not your brother, or your son. Or sister or daughter.

Even if they are right in what they say--and I know longer know for sure...hence the search/research--they for sure aren't delivering the message in the right way.

It should not be happening! Who knows how many hundreds....thousands...of boys and girls who have grown up in churches and have struggled with their sexuality, and then....suffering alone because of course they have no one to talk to....they leave their church. And God.

This makes me very, very, very sad.

Several years ago, maybe 7-8 years ago, I felt the urge to tackle this issue. But I didn't. Too hard. Too busy. I've felt that churches handled the gay issue all wrong for many years. Since my brother is gay, I've been sensitive to the hateful, snide, sneering remarks people make. And then I found out the son of a dear friend is gay. Actually, a best friend of my son's from childhood. This stirred me up again. But I didn't do anything except half-heartedly begin a book.

Maybe now it's time to pick that back up.

In the meantime, I've ordered several books. Love Is An Orientation by Andrew Marin, and a couple others on the subject. And I'm praying....praying for wisdom. Praying for direction. Praying that I don't fall into deception. I want the truth. God's truth. I don't want to change my views because it's popular. I want God to be okay with my son being gay. If not, I want God to do a miracle and change my son to a heterosexual. Maybe he'll do neither but NO MATTER WHAT, I trust God. Maybe being gay was not something God did but it's still something He can use to draw my son closer to Him.

Ultimately, that is my greatest desire. For my son to love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. That has been my prayer since he was a baby in my arms. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God will answer that prayer.

In the meantime....I have to do something to help others. Other mothers suffering as I am. Other kids who are feeling the hate and rejection.

Something. What, Lord?