Can I Get Through Just One Day Without This?

It happened again. I'm going to keep track now, for real because this is crazy. I think I'll chart it and include it in my book. Or whatever.

Is it possible to make it through a day without hearing a joke about homosexuality, gay wisecrack or innuendo?

This woman--a friend who is dear to me-- meant no harm. Ninety-nine percent of people mean no harm, I'm sure. It's just our culture. And typical human behavior. We make fun of what is different from us. I'm hypothesizing here but I think that prior to the 1990s, maybe the 1980s, the subject was shocking and taboo. But now.....not only are we talking about it (I know I exaggerate when I say incessantly, but allow me a little hyperbole here) we apparently think it's hilarious. That is, it's hilarious if it's some gay stranger, or if someone straight we know does something gay-ish.

The specifics don't matter, but today something different happened. Maybe it's a turning point.

At least two of the other three women in the group of which I was a part knows that my son is gay. I've confided in them how this subject hurts me. Obviously, the offender had momentarily forgotten. After she told her "funny husband story" which had to do with something gay-like he had done, there was not the expected laughter, just what seemed to me to be a few polite chuckles. Then the friend sitting closest to me--the one to whom I confided most recently--turned to me and segued pretty smoothly to something similar her son had done (only it was matter of fact and not shaded with gay humor). I'm pretty sure this was purposeful on her part (bless her). She's a merciful people-person and I believe she wanted to: a) save me from more pain, and b) save the offender the embarrassment of feeling like she'd stuck her foot in her mouth. Anyway, I was grateful that the usual guffaws did not ensue.

I guess I felt a little sorry to be a killjoy.

Not really. I think people really do need to be more sensitive and careful, including me. I am definitely guilty here myself. Maybe that's one purpose I have. To bring to at least a few the awareness that there are hurting hearts all around.

So be careful little lips what you say.