Here's the Problem

The other day I received word from a family member that a friend's friend's son had killed himself.  The text message read:

This 19 year old kid was gay and having trouble dealing. His first day on job at restaurant in Louisville someone harassed him and he killed himself. So wrong.

Then I was forwarded an email giving more information.  The boy's name was Madison Alexander Cox.  I was able to look through a photo gallery of pictures of him and his family.  He went to a Christian school.  He apparently was raised in church.  What a beautiful boy with a radiant smile!  My heart breaks for this family.  I am aching for this mother...especially his mother.

I really want to make a difference.  I keep coming back to it...over and over and over.  For years, literally years, I have wanted to do something to help gay people, especially the kids.

Here's the problem:

Christians--real Christians-- want to love. They really do.  However, they are afraid that by unconditionally loving gay people, they will be condoning their "choice" and their "lifestyle" which they just cannot bring themselves to do.  So instead they just ignore the problem altogether. Pretend that it doesn't exist. Turn away! Turn away! Don't acknowledge!  

But there are people in our churches who are gay. It's a FACT.


So. What are we going to do??  Keep making it unbearable for them...so unbearable that they finally give up and leave?  Can't we just love them?  Why can't we just love them?  Why can't we just accept people, love people, and trust Jesus with them?

If we don't, they suffer alone.

Can you imagine the agony they go through?  Do you remember how it felt to be a teenager and to feel like you were different in any way?  Magnify that torture a thousand times.  Without someone who will unconditionally love and accept them, they will do one of the following:

A)  Continue to suffer in silence.  And when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer. 1Corinthians    12:26

B)  Leave the church. And often they leave God.  And sometimes they even choose to leave this world.

Belated Update

Once again I'm guilty of blog-neglect.  Guilty.  And once again I vow to keep going.

I have two excuses, neither of which are good.  A) I'm too busy.  B) I'm afraid.

*hangs head in shame*

Now I won't belabor the excuses, and the ridiculousness of same.  Instead I choose to quiet myself and be brave.

Okay, so moving on...

I last wrote about Daniel and The Great Disappointment.  Here's the follow-up:

I will no doubt get some of the details wrong because this was eight months ago (geez.) but when Daniel returned to Omaha, and to Luke, he of course was still hurting. And they talked about it, I'm sure a lot.  Well guess what?  I'm so proud of both of them--Luke told him he must forgive them.

Yes! You read that right!  Luke.....who obviously is also GAY....tells Daniel to forgive the Christian friends who hurt him.

Amazing.

He told him that for better or worse, there are some people who will always be in our lives. So forgive them.  Daniel, who has always been quick to forgive, did just that.  He sent the bride a FB message saying that he saw her wedding pictures and that she looked beautiful in her wedding dress.  He said he hoped his gift hadn't been too lame (he still had not received a thank you or even an acknowledgement).

I am SO PROUD of my son.  Then he sent me a text telling me about it all and saying that I can forgive them now too because he'd received a nice message.  "How nice?" I asked.  He forwarded it to me.

I read it and didn't respond. Because I didn't want to interfere with his peace. But I didn't find it nice enough. Not at all.  It was just -- in my opinion -- an obligatory "hey! thanks! we love you! response in order to not be rude. AGAIN.

But what matters is that Daniel and Luke have the right attitude. They have the right heart, beautiful hearts. Forgiving hearts. Hearts with unconditional love.

Which is what he should have received from his former Christian family. For shame.