Taking a Step

You probably won't believe this, but I actually worked up a little motivation and bravado and made contact with a lovely, like-minded, like-hearted person who is for real working with the people I want to work with.  Not only did I make the contact....I followed through and met with her face-to-face yesterday morning.  YAY ME!

I know that doesn't sound like that big a deal, but for me it is.  I am such a scaredy-cat foot dragger.  I'm still in recovery for my people-pleasing tendencies.  I don't want to embarrass myself.  I don't want to be wrong.  I don't want my conservative friends to worry about me.  Plus, I'm an over thinker and someone who has a really hard time making decisions.  Why God would want to use someone as lame as I am, I couldn't tell ya.  But, I mean, He has a history of choosing some super pathetic characters.  If you've read the Bible, you know His choices could really be called into question.  Way more often than not!  You don't even have to be human to be used by God.  Baalam's donkey and Jonah's big fish quickly come to mind.

So. Clearly.... I qualify.

All this time has passed.....and keeps passing......and I keep hearing about more kids suffering, more kids dying.....more hearts breaking......  These hearts aren't going to mend themselves! Of course God can sovereignly do anything, but almost always He chooses to use people to accomplish His purposes.  I'm one of His people.  I want to be one of the ones He uses.  I want to love people, encourage people, nurture people.  Show them--not just tell them, not just pray for them, but show them that God loves them.

I was telling my new friend yesterday that ....hahaha..... since becoming a Christian (at age 14) I wanted a role in the kingdom that was well-esteemed by other Christians.  I'm just like everyone else; I want to be admired and applauded.  You know, like mission work....saving orphans....and she said: you ARE!

Ah!  Ahhhhhhh!

In my head I know it doesn't matter what other people think but what God thinks.  But I like to collect accolades just as much as the next person.  Believe me, there are no gold stars handed out for those of us who stand up for the rights of LGBTs.

Within the LGBT community, there are thousands and thousands of orphans. Figuratively and literally!  Did you know that 40% of homeless teens have been rejected by their parents--usually based on their religious beliefs--and kicked out of their homes??

How? How can this be happening?  How are we not outraged and broken-hearted over this?!  How can anyone justify this?  How can we not see that Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to go after that ONE. LOST. LAMB.

Sure, I'll endure the scandal.  Of course I'll chance being the object of clucking tongues and righteous head wagging.  It's worth any reproach I'll receive.  I'll take my chances in being misunderstood. Misjudged.  I'll always, always err on the side of grace and mercy.  I KNOW that if Jesus were walking the earth in 2015, He would spend lots of time hanging out with these people.  I'm CERTAIN that He would go after that desperate, devastated soul that has been kicked out of their home for being gay.  I'M POSITIVE that He would go sit beside that anguished teen in church who is hearing again how sinful homosexuality is but yet they've hid the secret for yearrrrs that they are attracted to the same sex and who can they talk to?!  NO ONE.  They could confess anything else but that.  I'M CONFIDENT that He would show up for the mom who's sobbing like she's never sobbed before....because He did for me.  For six years now, I've walked through this process that only Christian moms like myself can understand.  The shock. The fear. The worry. The grief.

I want to help the families too.  It's hard. It's painful. It's lonely.  But He's walked with me through it. He's loved me, comforted me, assured me, taught me, grown me.

So today I won't just write anonymously and hide it away as I've done since beginning this blog 5-1/2 years ago.  For the sake of maybe just the ONE....I'll share my words and my heart.  If I'd had a blog like this to read these past years, I would have so very much appreciated it.